Thanks to everyone with the help! I am new to tying and just want to check with more seasoned tiers to make sure it is done right. I did not expect so much feedback though.
I appreciate all the advice and agree more work is needed. Think less is more, straight eye hook, proper materials (I'll stop being lazy and go to bps) and try using the proper tying technique. The latter usually helps I hear. Again thanks everyone for the help.