That's the funniest thing I have read in months.
Busted a chess player for doping. Not only do you have to wnder why he did it, but what the heck do they care for? It's chess, not football. The heaviest chess pieces I ever saw, an infant could toss across a room like a lawn dart. By the way, it was also the funniest chess pieces I ever saw as well. South Park chess pieces with the Queens being Big Gay Al.
I did many years of checking ice fishermen on Lake of the Woods. I can testify to the fact "nobody would pass if tested for beer". One time I went into a house and asked for thier fish. They were so stinking drunk they had trouble getting out of their seats. I decided for safety to go farther than normal from the house to dump the bucket and check them. I didn't far enough. This guy weaves his way up to me, looks over my shoulder. He then weebled wobbled and tried not to fall down. He failed.
He went down landing on my back and at the same time grabbing the rear view mirror on my snowmobile. I got shoved into a pile of fish and he yanked the mirror right off my sled.
That's OK. I never went slow enough to worry about what's behind me anyway.