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Fly Fishing Humor Good clean fun. Fly fishing jokes and humorous stories...

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Old 11-06-2008, 07:39 PM
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Default PG13 *Spider Bite*

5 opening day of season ago......

I took my waders out of the garage. They had been hanging there all winter.
I always wash my gear at the end of the season so my stuff is ready to jump right in
to opening morning of the coming year.

Put my wool socks on and 2 pair of long underwear. It gets pretty cold wading in
10 degree temps in March here in Wisconsin. I put my waders on and laced up my
wading boots.

6am and I am in my truck putting on my safety belt.. I feel a little pain in my groin. I ignore it.
Off I go to my favorite stream.

I get 10 minutes out of town and my groin is starting to trobe and get really warm. I get out of the truck and drop trousers/waders. Under my 2 pair of long johns is a dead spider in my fly area of my inner layer.

A little closer look/examination revealed a emerging problem. I decided fishing going to have to wait. I went straight home. I am allergic to most insect bites and bee stings. I gave a little extra gas because my problem was growing.

I kicked my wife out of bed. She is a Registered Nurse. I showed her my problem. She stared in disbelief. The right side of my entire unit along with its accessories were about three times the regular size. Wife said a trip to the Emergency Room was in order.
Just before we left she looked at me and asked if we could use it once before we went. I just rolled my eyes at her and off we went to the ER.

The ER doctor was awoken from a evening nap. He was one of my fishin buds. He examined the problem. The first thing he asked was if I had been sleeping around. My wife answered before I could. She said absolutely NOT. I had saved the spider and showed it to him. He told me he had to go look up something he would be right back.
He returned with 6 other male staff members from the hospital to see the THING. I got a little pissed at him. He had a polaroid camera with him. He wanted to take a photo of it. I asked him why he needed a photo? Was it for diagnosing it? He just laughed and said NO. I told him no photos. After 8 epinephrine shots and calming down ....I was ready to go fishing again.

Moral to this story.

Check your waders Opening Morning!!!!
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Old 12-10-2008, 10:47 PM
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Default Re: PG13 *Spider Bite*

Sorry for your pain, but if you remeber what kind of spider it was we can bottle and sell them! We'll make millions!!!
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