20 Ways to Know You’ve Booked a Bad Fly Fishing Guide
Hey folks... the following is a list, by fly fishing guide Rob Woodruff, of things that you don't want to see from your fly fishing guide... can you think of more???
1. He doesn’t wade in the river with you; he just stands on the bank and screams and gestures a lot.
2. You see him taking a long swig from a bottle of whiskey as you arrive at 6:30 in the morning.
3. He calls all his clients, regardless of age, "son".
4. He brings his dog and spends more time working with it than you.
5. He obviously hasn’t bathed or shaved for several days before the trip.
6. He advertises a "gourmet shore lunch"; then serves you Vienna Sausages, hard-boiled eggs and crackers.
7. After collecting your money on a fishless day, he remarks "I was afraid that would happen, we haven’t caught anything in a
couple of weeks."
8. He advertises himself as a fly fishing guide, and then once on the river, pulls out the live bait and spinning rods and says that is
the only way to catch fish right now.
9. He screams and cusses at you before you even get in the boat.
10. He spends the day trying to convert you to the new religion he has founded, and insists you call him "The Prophet".
11. He advertises "fishing on pristine, un-crowded private water" and then on the way to the stream casually mentions that he doesn’t actually have the landowner’s permission to fish there.
12. He fishes all day, catches the most fish and brags about it.
13. He quits at 10:00 AM because you and your buddy "aren’t good enough fly fishermen to be on this river."
14. Without further explanation, he tells you that he is surprised you showed up because; "everybody else has been scared to,
since the incident."
15. He spends most of the day complaining about the measly tip the clients gave him yesterday, and telling the terrible things he
plans to do to get even with them for it.
16. He asks you what you do for a living, then tells you how little he thinks of people in your profession.
17. He spends most of the day flirting with your wife or girlfriend.
18. He surprises you by introducing you to the five strangers who are going to be fishing with you today.
19. He makes fun of your casting, and does nothing to help you get better.
20. Before the trip starts, he asks you to help him cut the electronic monitoring device off his ankle.