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Old 05-07-2013, 12:07 PM
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Default Am I overreacting?

It is rare that I get the opportunity to fish outside of my local water so I was very excited when my wife gave me for Christmas a 5-day steelheading trip to SE Alaska. She booked the trip for this month at an all inclusive lodge on a river that is easy to fish. The trip includes meals, lodging, an ocean charter for halibut and rockfish, and car rental. She booked the trip just for one person, leaving me the option to have the time to myself or allowing me to invite a friend.

I invited my bother in-law (BIL), who then invited a friend of his. Now, just one week before the trip, they decided to do the following:

-Go to SE Alaska two days earlier than me to get extra time in on the river. So now we're on different flights to Alaska.
-Return on a morning flight instead of flying home with me on an evening flight.
-Stay at a campground instead of at the all inclusive lodge. They'll be cooking their own meals and spending nights at the campground. I'll be having the lodge prepare meals and hanging at the bar at night. We're still going out on the charter together.
- Since I'll have a rental car, I'll have to pick them up at he campground to shuttle them around to the differnet fishing holes. They offered to chip in $ the days that they ride in the vehicle. Plus, instead of getting a full day of fishing in together on the last day, I'll get to fish for only a few hours since I'll have to shuttle them from the campground to the airport so they can catch thier morning flight.

I don't have good feelings about this trip. It just seems like we are going on separate trips, except we'll be meeting up to fish. This wasn't exactly what I had in mind when I first invited my BIL along. Now it's less than a week before he and his friend leave for AK. I woke up this morning thinking I should just tell them how I feel, and that they should just have their trip, I'll have mine, and we'll meet up for the charter. They'll have to get thier own rental car to get to the holes and airport on their own.

Do you guys think I'm overreacting? How would you feel? What would you do?
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Old 05-07-2013, 12:15 PM
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Default Re: Am I overreacting?

I'd be a bit aggravated and being the direct type, I'd have no problem telling them what was on my mind.

It sounds as if they are simply using you for the guide but trying to take a separate vacation from you.

I'd tell them no dice
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Old 05-07-2013, 12:22 PM
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Default Re: Am I overreacting?

I don't think you're overreacting. If it were up to me, I'd just tell BIL that he's either renting his own car or he can plan on doing a lot of hiking - you're not going all the way up there to run a chauffeur service. I'd go my own way, and our paths crossed, fine - if not, so be it. Don't let him ruin your trip. He doesn't sound like the kind of guy I'd want to fish with anyway. And here I was thinking I was the only one with a self-centered brother-in-law.
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Old 05-07-2013, 12:23 PM
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Default Re: Am I overreacting?

I agree with previous posts. Haven't had the opportunity to go on such great trip, but have happened on a few last minute charters too late to organize any friends and always find a like minded fisherman to hangout with or not. I'd probably tell them I hope they have a great time and maybe we can swap some pictures when we all get back. Not a chance I'd go that far and limit fishing, the reason for going, to shuttle them around... only for a very good friend!
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Old 05-07-2013, 12:40 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Am I overreacting?

I think you are over reacting a bit. First, it appears the other two can't afford the 'all in resort' so that's why they're camping. But where you're not 'over reacting' is the request you be their 'driver.' Let them rent their own car. That way their free to come and go as they please.

If they want to join you during the evening for 'adult beverages' cool. You went into this thing 'solo' so don't let them be a wet blanket and taint your trip. Bye the bye, sounds like you married one heck of a Lady.

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Old 05-07-2013, 12:45 PM
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Default Re: Am I overreacting?

I'll go with you and I'll do more than my share of driving. I don't have much money but I can tell jokes that would make George Carlin jealous.
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Old 05-07-2013, 12:57 PM
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Default Re: Am I overreacting?

Seems like some miscommunication perhaps playing a role? maybe your BIL accepted the offer before realizing how much all of it would cost?

Probably started looking at flights and realized, "there goes all of my money"... and he didn't want to camp alone, so he invited a friend.

Regarding your mismatched flights - and not saying this is absolutely what happened - but, sometimes the flights are a LOT cheaper if you tack on a couple days... especially if it means you would be departing/returning during the work week (as opposed to Sat-to-Sun).

Regardless, he should have given you a head's up on his plans. Not something I would do to a friend with a clear conscious.
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Old 05-07-2013, 01:01 PM
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Default Re: Am I overreacting?

Very good points "Joe," very good points.
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Old 05-07-2013, 01:03 PM
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Default Re: Am I overreacting?

It's your trip that your wife wanted to give you not there's, tell bill to take a hike one way or the other.

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Old 05-07-2013, 01:09 PM
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Default Re: Am I overreacting?

Quote:
Originally Posted by peterjay View Post
I don't think you're overreacting. If it were up to me, I'd just tell BIL that he's either renting his own car or he can plan on doing a lot of hiking - you're not going all the way up there to run a chauffeur service. I'd go my own way, and our paths crossed, fine - if not, so be it. Don't let him ruin your trip. He doesn't sound like the kind of guy I'd want to fish with anyway. And here I was thinking I was the only one with a self-centered brother-in-law.
I couldn't agree more with what the others have said, especially how Peter stated the situation. It costs a LOT of money to go to Alaska, for most of us it is a once in a life time event. Why in the world would you want to cut your trip short to be a chauffeur. You need to let Bil know that he and his friend will need to find their own transportation or plan on heading back to the airport when it meets YOUR schedule, not theirs.
By the way, you definitely have a keeper for a wife!
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