10-21-2012, 03:16 PM
My Candian Brothers ... YOU are warned!
"IT'S SPREADING NORTH"
From the MANITOBA HERALD, Canada (a very underground paper):
The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified
in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration.
The possibility of a Romney/Ryan election is prompting the exodus among left-leaning
citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.
Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors,
animal rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.
"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer
huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders
North Dakota . The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I
could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any,
he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals
scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields.
"Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the
cows so much they wouldn't give milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals near the
Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them across the border
and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for
rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without
a drop of drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley Cabernet, though."
When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly
that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about
the Romney administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will
be forced to shoot wolves from airplanes, deny evolution, and act out drills preparing
them for the Rapture.
In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border.
Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian
prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs,
Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to prove they
were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence
Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an
organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies.
"I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them,"
an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history and English majors does one country
"We sleep soundly in our beds because rough men stand ready in the night to visit violence on those who would do us harm." – Winston Churchill