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Old 12-05-2012, 12:39 AM
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Wink Too bad I can 'relate' all too well .....

"SERENITY"


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied, 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded , 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporter interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia ..
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 89 or 98.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on, The class was over.



My memory's not as sharp as it used to be. Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.



Know how to prevent sagging? Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.



It's scary when you start making the same noises as your coffee maker.




These days about half the stuff in my shopping cart says,
' For fast relief.'





THE SENILITY PRAYER : Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.
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Old 12-05-2012, 05:27 AM
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Default Re: Too bad I can 'relate' all too well .....

An old tai chi martial arts master said "The road to longevity is a painful one."
Can you still tie on a fly? Get in and out of your waders? Cast a rod for a couple hours?
That's all that really matters isn't it?
The aerobics will really help, if that part wasn't a joke.
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Old 12-05-2012, 11:57 AM
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Default Re: Too bad I can 'relate' all too well .....

I hear ya Bro., I hear ya. At 70 getting chest waders/boots on/off is an aerobics class ....
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:40 PM
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Default Re: Too bad I can 'relate' all too well .....

Thanks Fred. That was a good one. I always liked the one about how you want to go.

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my Grandfather did. Not like the screaming passengers in his car did."
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:09 PM
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Default Re: Too bad I can 'relate' all too well .....

I've always like that one too Dan. And Fred, that aerobics class one is golden too! And as far as boots go, have you seen the boots with the BOA cables? Simms and some other companies make them. They are quick and eliminate time spent tying boot laces, and laces freezing up!
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:20 PM
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Thumbs up Re: Too bad I can 'relate' all too well .....

Yup as to the boots with the BOA lace up system. Use the new model of the Korker Chromes. Pull that boot 'tongue' forward and you've go a hole the size of a one gallon bucket to stick your foot into. A Good Thing
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:23 PM
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Default Re: Too bad I can 'relate' all too well .....

Quote:
Originally Posted by gatortransplant View Post
I've always like that one too Dan. And Fred, that aerobics class one is golden too! And as far as boots go, have you seen the boots with the BOA cables? Simms and some other companies make them. They are quick and eliminate time spent tying boot laces, and laces freezing up!
yep, korkers chrome are gonna be next boots my wife has a pair of korkers with the boa system, they are very nice and are extremely easy to put on. so simple and so functional, not to mention a blessing one ones back

didn't mean to hijack fred, that poem and prayer were great!!
cool thread

casey
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Old 12-05-2012, 08:26 PM
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Default Re: Too bad I can 'relate' all too well .....

No worries Casey, no worries.
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