The North American Fly Fishing Forum


Go Back   The North American Fly Fishing Forum > Back at the Lodge > The Lodge Den

The Lodge Den Sit down, kick back and discuss other topic with other forum members... Controversial subjects not allowed.

Like Tree12Likes
  • 10 Post By fredaevans
  • 1 Post By mridenour
  • 1 Post By fredaevans

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 02-05-2014, 12:51 PM
fredaevans's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: White City (tad north of Medford) Oar-E-Gone
Posts: 5,563
fredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond repute
Default Why Grandmother's rule the world.

To all the G-ma's out there!!! This is a crackup!

Dear Family,

Iím not dead yet. Thanksgiving is still important to me. If being in my Last Will and Testament is important to you, then you might consider being with me for my favorite holiday.

Dinner is at 2:00. Not 2:15. Not 2:05. Two. Arrive late and you get whatís left over.

Last year, that moron Marshall fried a turkey in one of those contraptions and practically burned the deck off the house. This year, the only peanut oil used to make the meal will be from the secret scoop of peanut butter I add to the carrot soup.

Jonathan, your last new wife was an idiot. You donít arrive at someoneís house on Thanksgiving needing to use the oven and the stove. Honest to God, I thought you might have learned after two wives Ė date them longer and save us all the agony of another divorce.

Now, the house rules are slightly different this year because I have decided that 47% of you donít know how to take care of nice things. Paper plates and red Solo cups might be bad for the environment, but Iíll be gone soon
and that will be your problem to deal with.

House Rules:

1. The University of Texas no longer plays Texas A&M. The television stays off during the meal.
2. The ď no cans for kidsĒ rule still exists. We are using 2 liter bottles because your children still open a third can before finishing the first two. Parents can fill a childís cup when it is empty. All of the cups have names on them and Iíll be paying close attention to refills.
3. Cloe, last year we were at Trudyís house and I looked the other way when your Jell-O salad showed up. This year, if Jell-O salad comes in the front door it will go right out the back door with the garbage. Save yourself some time, honey. Youíve never been a good cook and you shouldnít bring something that wiggles more than you. Buy something from the bakery.
4. Grandmothers give grandchildren cookies and candy. That is a fact of life. Your children can eat healthy at your home. At my home, they can eat whatever they like as long as they finish it.
5. I cook with bacon and bacon grease. Thatís nothing new. Your being a vegetarian doesnít change the fact that stuffing without bacon is like egg salad without eggs. Even the green bean casserole has a little bacon grease
in it. Thatís why it tastes so good. Not eating bacon is just not natural. And as far as being healthyÖ look at me. Iíve outlived almost everyone I know.
6. Salad at Thanksgiving is a waste of space.
7. I do not like cell phones. Leave them in the car. (my personal fav)
8. I do not like video cameras. There will be 32 people here. I am sure you can capture lots of memories without the camera pointed at me.
9. Being a mother means you have to actually pay attention to the kids. I have nice things and I donít put them away just because company is coming over. Mary, watch your kids and Iíll watch my things.
10. Rhonda, a cat that requires a shot twice a day is a cat that has lived too many lives. I think staying home to care for the cat is your way of letting me know that I have lived too many lives too. I can live with that.
Can you?
11. Words mean things. I say what I mean. Let me repeat: You donít need to bring anything means you donít need to bring anything. And if I did tell you to bring something, bring it in the quantity I said. Really.
This doesnít have to be difficult.
12. Dominos and cards are better than anything that requires a battery or an on/off switch. That was true when you were kids and itís true now that you have kids.
13. Showing up for Thanksgiving guarantees presents at Christmas. Not showing up guarantees a card that may or may not be signed.
The election is over so Iíll watch what I say and you will do the same. If we all stick to that, weíll have a good time. If not, Iíll still have a good time but it will be at your expense. In memory of your Grandfather, the back fridge will be filled with beer. Drink until it is gone. I prefer wine anyway. But one from each family needs to be the designated driver. I mean it really!

Love You, Grandma
__________________
"ďReputation is what the world thinks a man is; character is what he really is.Ē
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 02-05-2014, 01:02 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Arkansas
Posts: 2,327
littledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond reputelittledavid123 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Why Grandmother's rule the world.

WOW That brings back some memories, thanks for sharing Fred.

Dave
__________________
"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them. "
Thomas Jefferson
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 02-05-2014, 01:07 PM
mridenour's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 2,059
Blog Entries: 8
mridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud ofmridenour has much to be proud of
Default Re: Why Grandmother's rule the world.

We have a huge celebration each year on July 4th. We refuse to buy cans. 2-litres are cheaper and we don't have all the half-empty cans sitting around everywhere.

But a fried turkey is a really good change of pace from time to time (as long as the person doing the job isn't a moron).
fredaevans likes this.
__________________
Mike Ridenour Follow your heart...but take your brain with you!
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 02-05-2014, 03:03 PM
mcnerney's Avatar
Administrator
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Pinedale, WY
Posts: 12,744
Blog Entries: 36
mcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond reputemcnerney has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Why Grandmother's rule the world.

Fred: That was great, thanks for sharing! Lots of life lessons embedded in that piece.

Larry
__________________
Larry

Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 02-05-2014, 05:54 PM
fredaevans's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: White City (tad north of Medford) Oar-E-Gone
Posts: 5,563
fredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Why Grandmother's rule the world.

Very young and flaked out in a real 'feather bed' between 'Mamma and Pappa.' 5 foot -5 and 200 pounds had you snuggled in his arms. Sleep, per chant to dream.

Good times.

fae
mcnerney likes this.
__________________
"ďReputation is what the world thinks a man is; character is what he really is.Ē
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 02-05-2014, 07:03 PM
jimp's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: East TN
Posts: 335
jimp has a spectacular aura aboutjimp has a spectacular aura aboutjimp has a spectacular aura about
Default Re: Why Grandmother's rule the world.

Ah, the good ol days.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 02-05-2014, 07:34 PM
Senior Member

 
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Southeast Idaho
Posts: 3,776
siege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant futuresiege has a brilliant future
Default Re: Why Grandmother's rule the world.

Thanks, Fred. I really enjoyed that. A lot of it sounded very familiar. Some of it could have come directly out of my mouth
__________________
You can always tell a fisherman. You just can't tell him much.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 02-06-2014, 02:21 AM
fredaevans's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: White City (tad north of Medford) Oar-E-Gone
Posts: 5,563
fredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond reputefredaevans has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: Why Grandmother's rule the world.

My Grand Parents, Mothers side, were quite the team. He with his EVIL SMELLING pipe. Don't know what kind of tabaco he smoked but the stuff could melt paint off a wall.

'Mama,' with flour up to her elbows, making fresh baked bread. I think electric power got to the farm house some time in the early '
50's so we sat at the table with a kerosine lamp for light. Play cards with sun flower seeds for 'chips.'

You won, you got to eat the bet.

Mr. and Mrs. Hanivich. Polish and Russian to the core.

Amazing people and Dear God do I miss them both.

fae
__________________
"ďReputation is what the world thinks a man is; character is what he really is.Ē
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 02-06-2014, 11:26 AM
runningfish's Avatar
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Alberta and California
Posts: 1,017
runningfish is a glorious beacon of lightrunningfish is a glorious beacon of lightrunningfish is a glorious beacon of lightrunningfish is a glorious beacon of lightrunningfish is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: Why Grandmother's rule the world.

Reminds me of my late host parent Mrs. Gage. God bless her soul and rest in peace.
__________________
BEWARE...Once you switched, you can't switch back. : and NO, I am not an expert, I just think like one.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Rule rejection kicks off fish vs. water delta debate Editor News & articles for discussion 0 02-08-2012 03:37 AM
Fishermen and conservationists appear equally outraged by a proposed rule that would Fish Bones The Daily Papers 0 01-15-2009 12:25 AM
Chub rule of thumb? jcl Coldwater Fly Fishing 8 12-16-2008 11:21 AM
ODWC News Release: Meetings for LMFR Rule Change Piscator Lower Mid-U.S. 1 09-28-2006 12:18 PM
the end of the world as we know it fshfanatic The Lodge Den 6 08-21-2005 03:59 PM













All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:38 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
2005-2014 The North American Fly Fishing Forum. All rights reserved.