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Old 07-26-2016, 09:36 AM
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Wink Shaggy Dog story; so bad its good.....

Murder at Costco........



Tired of constantly being broke and stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary and then arranging to have her killed.



A 'friend of a friend' put him in touch with a nefarious dark-side underworld figure who went by the name of 'Artie.' Artie explained to the husband that his going price for snuffing out a spouse was $10,000.



The Husband said he was willing to pay that amount but that he wouldn't have any cash on hand until he could collect his wife's insurance money. Artie insisted on being paid at least something up front, so the man opened his wallet, displaying the single dollar coin that rested inside.



Artie sighed, rolled his eyes and reluctantly agreed to accept the dollar as down payment for the dirty deed.



A few days later, Artie followed the man's wife to the local Costco Supermarket. There, he surprised her in the produce department and proceeded to strangle her with his gloved hands. As the poor unsuspecting woman drew her last breath and slumped to the floor, the manager of the produce department stumbled unexpectedly onto the murder scene. Unwilling to leave any living witnesses behind, ol' Artie had no choice but to strangle the produce manager as well.



However, unknown to Artie, the entire proceedings were captured by the hidden security cameras and observed by the shop's security guard, who immediately called the police. Artie was caught and arrested before he could even leave the premises.



Under intense questioning at the police station, Artie revealed the whole sordid plan, including his unusual financial arrangements with the hapless husband who was also quickly arrested.





The next day in the Newspaper, the headline declared...

(You're going to hate me for this....)




















"ARTIE CHOKES 2 for $1.00 @ Costco"



Oh, quit groaning! I don't write this stuff, I receive it from my warped friend
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Old 07-26-2016, 07:09 PM
 
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Default Re: Shaggy Dog story; so bad its good.....

Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen's Chinese Laundry."

"Hans Olaffsen Chinese Laundry?", he muses. "How did that happen?"

So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter.

The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like "Hans Olaffsen's Chinese Laundry?"

The old man answers, "Is name of owner."

The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?"

"Me, is right here," replies the old man.

"You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?"

"Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, "What your name?" He say, "Hans Olaffsen." Then she look at me and go,' What your name?'"

I say, "Sem Ting."
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Old 08-01-2016, 01:19 PM
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Default Re: Shaggy Dog story; so bad its good.....

Corrections officers (and others) are constantly annoyed by that Viet guy, Rong Dam Key.
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