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Old 12-28-2016, 05:52 PM
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Default Humor on the forum

I was reading the "Favorite Small Midge" thread and saw this posted by Mr. labradorguy -

I understand midges catch big fish gentlemen. Just a little humor.... It's in short supply on the forum these days...

So I thought I'd put this in a new thread instead of hijacking the midge thread. I was watching a "Big Bang" re-run and being the nerd that I am, cracked up at this physicist joke told by Leonard :

"A poultry farmer was distressed because his chickens stopped laying eggs. He didn’t know what to do about it, but one of his friends, a physicist, offered to help. The physicist came out to the farm, took a bunch of measurements, and went back home to analyze the data. The physicist called the farmer on the phone and said: “Okay, I have a solution for your problem, but it only works with spherical chickens in a vacuum.”

Ha ha ha! Ok it's nerd humor. Let's hear yours!

Mark
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Old 12-28-2016, 08:36 PM
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

Nerd Humor -

Cop pulls over motorist, points angrily: "Do you realize you just sped right through that red light back there? What do you have to say for yourself?!"

Motorist: "Officer, I was going so fast, that light was BLUE."
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Old 12-28-2016, 09:02 PM
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

I have no sense of humor, and take this sport or day I say art-form, much too seriously to ever joke about it or anything really. That said, I only have one joke, and you'd have to of lived in S.E.Michigan for some time in years past to get it. It's posted in the bowels of the Great Lakes Region forum somewhere. I'll try and hunt up the link to it a little later to respectfully, and reverently repost it.

In any case, if you're needing something in a hurry to tell at your wife's next women's club meeting to impress the gals;

"Why is it all wedding dresses come in white?"







"Because that's the color all new appliances come in..."

(Please don't hit me Cpiercem, I'm a crybaby )


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Old 12-28-2016, 09:22 PM
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

On of my favorite sayings is...

I don't drink anymore... but I don't drink any less either.

Usually draws a snicker or two..

Regards,

Tim C.
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Old 12-28-2016, 09:49 PM
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

If u work for an airline, the follow on to the drinking joke is:

It's five o, clock somewhere!
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Old 12-28-2016, 10:05 PM
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

And to give you a boozing trifecta you need to round it out with a famous quote:

"I used to jog, but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass," David Lee Roth

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Old 12-28-2016, 10:06 PM
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

: What do fish and women have in common? A: They both stop shaking their tale after you catch them!

What did the fish say when it hit a concrete wall A: "Dam!"

What did one hillbilly say to another? A: I got a new fly rod and reel for my wife......best trade I ever made.

The only reason your husband likes to go fishing so much is that it's the only time he hears someone tell him, "Wow, that's a big one!"

When you go fishing and you catch something, that's good. If you're making love and you catch something, that's bad.

You can catch a fish on a 20-cent nightcrawler. If you want to catch a woman you're talking dinner and a movie minimum.
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Old 12-28-2016, 10:41 PM
 
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

Heisenberg is pulled over for speeding.
The police officer asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg says, 'No, but I knew where I was."



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Old 12-28-2016, 11:03 PM
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

the best fishing joke is......

I fish to be one with the nature and don't care if I am catching or not.....wait that is me.
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Old 12-28-2016, 11:06 PM
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Default Re: Humor on the forum

Quote:
Originally Posted by silver creek View Post
Heisenberg is pulled over for speeding.
The police officer asks, "Do you know how fast you were going?"
Heisenberg says, 'No, but I knew where I was.
Arrrggg, no!! That's not the whole joke.
The second part of that is (since Erwin Schrödinger was also in the car) the cop then demands to search the car. He looks in the trunk, then yells up to the front "hey do you guys know there's a dead cat in here?" To which Schrödinger replies "well, we do NOW!"

Funniest quantum mechanics joke ever.
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