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Old 06-10-2013, 08:33 AM
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Default Re: A Book And Its Cover... Reconsidered...

Hello, Jerry,

I have been staying out of this conversation but have been following it closely. I am really happy the man showed his children what a "man" really is and how he is supposed to act, especially when he has done something terribly wrong. He taught them that your pride needs to take a backseat sometime but, if and when you are able to do that, others are proud for you.

The biggest reason I have taken a backseat is that I know how job pressures can have that sort of affect on you. It certainly depends on the which "season" of your life you are you are in at the time.

About ten years ago, I had two young kids, a wife who worked part-time (so she could be there for the kids as much as possible), a mortgage, and a second mortgage because we added onto the house--amongst other expenses. Then my company outsourced a large portion of their IT and I was one of the ones who had six months to teach the replacements my job so they could do it and I could collect unemployment. Believe me, it was a hard thing to go thru. It was bad enough knowing my time was up but whenever the job wasn't going away AND the fact that I had to teach the foreign person everything about my job so he could flourish was extremely stressful.

My family said I changed during those few months--a lot--and I still have scars to this day. I honestly sent out 450+ resumes for all sorts of jobs. I got less than ten rejections and the rest never contacted me at all. I was going nuts and it showed. I was short and snippy at home. The littlest thing set me off. Where I once had patience, I had none. Where I once had compassion, I had none. Where I once had nothing but good thoughts, I had none.

So I had walked in this man's shoes. It was not a good time. We got thru it alright and we all all better for it but while the dross as burning off, it can be a painful experience for yourself and the people around you. It is a horrible thing that the people you care about the most are the ones who get the brunt of your angst.

I am not saying that the things I did during that time were right because many were not. I guess I am saying that everybody has a limit to what they can endure--we are not all made of the same "stuff" even though we like to think we are.

I am glad the gentleman you spoke of was able to do the right thing in the end. And I am sure it took a lot for him to do it--much more than people may realize.

And kudos to you and your daughter to accept his apology and to take the unprecedented step of going beyond forgiveness and actually help him and his children.

I am sure the kids have learned a whole lot more than how to fly fish.

Many men go fishing all of their lives without knowing that it is not fish they are after.” –Henry David Thoreau
Time flies like an arrow but fruit flies like a banana.” –Groucho Marx
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