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HuronRiverDan 01-01-2010 08:56 AM

Darwin Awards 09...
Not really related to flyfishing, but I thought everyone might get a laugh out of it...


The Darwins are out!!!!

Yes, it's that magical time of year again when the Darwin Awards are bestowed, honoring the least evolved among us.

Here is the glorious winner:

1. When his 38 caliber revolver failed to fire at his intended victim during a hold-up in Provo , Utah would-be robber Jason Ellison did something that can only inspire wonder. He peered down the barrel and tried the trigger again. This time it worked.

And now, the honorable mentions:

2. The chef at a hotel in Switzerland lost a finger in a meat cutting machine and after a little shopping around, submitted a claim to his insurance company. The company expecting negligence sent out one of its men to have a look for himself. He tried the machine and he also lost a finger. The chef's claim was approved.

3. A man who shoveled snow for an hour to clear a space for his car during a blizzard in Chicago returned with his vehicle to find a woman had taken the space. Understandably, he shot her.

4. After stopping for drinks at an illegal bar, a Zimbabwean bus driver found that the 20 mental patients he was supposed to be transporting from Harare to Bulawayo had escaped... Not wanting to admit his incompetence, the driver went to a nearby bus stop and offered everyone waiting there a free ride. He then delivered the passengers to the mental hospital, telling the staff that the patients were very excitable and prone to bizarre fantasies.. The deception wasn't discovered for 3 days.

5.. A teenager was in the hospital recovering from serious head wounds received from an oncoming train. When asked how he received the injuries, the lad told police that he was simply trying to see how close he could get his head to a moving train before he was hit.

6. A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a $20 bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the $20 bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... $15. [If someone points a gun at you and gives you money, is a crime committed?]

7. Seems an Arkansas guy wanted some beer pretty badly.. He decided that he'd just throw a cinder block through a liquor store window, grab some booze, and run. So he lifted the cinder block and heaved it over his head at the window. The cinder block bounced back and hit the would-be thief on the head, knocking him unconscious. The liquor store window was made of Plexiglas. The whole event was caught on videotape.

8. As a female shopper exited a South Carolina convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from."

9.. The Ann Arbor News crime column reported that a man walked into a Burger King in Ypsilanti , Michigan at 5 A.M., flashed a gun, and demanded cash. The clerk turned him down because he said he couldn't open the cash register without a food order. When the man ordered onion rings, the clerk said they weren't available for breakfast. The man, frustrated, walked away. [*A 5-STAR STUPIDITY AWARD WINNER]

10. When a man attempted to siphon gasoline from a motor home parked on an Atlanta street, he got much more than he bargained for. Police arrived at the scene to find a very sick man curled up next to a motor home near spilled sewage. A police spokesman said that the man admitted to trying to steal gasoline, but he plugged his siphon hose into the motor home's sewage tank by mistake. The owner of the vehicle declined to press charges saying that it was the best laugh he'd ever had.

jpbfly 01-01-2010 09:01 AM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...
Thanks a lot Dan !

mcnerney 01-01-2010 10:46 AM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...
Dan: Number 10 was my favorite! LOL!


wilky 01-01-2010 02:55 PM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...
LOL i agree number 10 was my favorite 10 LOL
thanks Dan i needed cheering up


HuronRiverDan 01-02-2010 09:06 AM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...
#10 was probably the best, #9 had to be up there though...The clerk was pretty gutsy...LOL


mcnerney 01-02-2010 10:05 AM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...

Originally Posted by HuronRiverDan (Post 76806)
#10 was probably the best, #9 had to be up there though...The clerk was pretty gutsy...LOL


Crooks just aren't very bright!


Jimmie 01-02-2010 11:46 AM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...

Originally Posted by mcnerney (Post 76810)
Crooks just aren't very bright!


No kidding. Headlines in my local paper this morning. Bank robber caught at DUI checkpoint New Years eve. They put him in the back of a patrol car and he started spilling the beans about the BofA robbery.

I'd like to see an instant replay of #7 too.

peregrines 01-03-2010 09:31 AM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...
Dan thanks i had a good laugh at them-- especially number 10.

I heard something on NPR about a bank robber that was arrested by the police. It seems he walked into the bank wearing a ski mask, and instead of walking right up to the counter he got on the end of the line....

The bank tellers sloooowed down while they called the police. He was still patiently waiting on line with a gun and a note demanding money in his pocket when the police arrived.

HuronRiverDan 01-03-2010 04:28 PM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...
Mark, He should have made the list...:D The other one in the list I liked was #4... He really worked at hiding his mistake...


ChrisinselwynNZ 01-10-2010 04:39 AM

Re: Darwin Awards 09...
Thanks Dan had a great laugh
#1 I thought shurley noboby could be that stupid and yet he did it
I saw a vid of the guy with the block real runny


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