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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Wasilla / Skwentna, Alaska
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    16,769
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    Default Re: Stupidest day you ever had on the water?

    That's the way of things here Dewayne, I catch some chatter through my means and have to go check it out. You were just here for that one

    Anywhere can be the land of great expectations, broken dreams, or paradise found, it's all up to you.

    Life On The Line - Alaska Fishing with Ard
    Ard's Forum blog, Alaska Outdoors

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  3. #22
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
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    Montrose, CO.
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    1,022
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    3

    Default Re: Stupidest day you ever had on the water?

    So there I was. Arms glistering from a light coat of sunscreen in the morning sun, I trolled my damsel nymph. Slow kicks took us around the shore further and further from the trucks. The lake looked like a mirror and I could see 10 feet down and the fishing was nonexistent. No matter. I was getting quite the tan and enjoying the morning sun. After a couple of fishless hours I wondered who in the group was the Jonah. I started cussing the windless day asked for some divine intervention to stir up the lake and knock some damsels free. In a desperate action I moved away from my buds toward the center of the lake. Putting some space between me and the cursed one. It worked as a good breeze kicked up and it wasn't long after the first brown hit the net. As the breeze turned to a wind the fishing got even better. Then it hit me. The calling of the old Number 2. I started the long kick back toward the trucks and outhouse. The wind that was once my friend, that I had prayed for and worshiped, had turned the glass lake into white caps. I kicked harder. The urge followed suit. I realized after minutes of kicking I was no closer to shore than when I started. To Hell with it. Any port in a storm came to mind and I kicked to turn the boat. As I did my left hammy decided this was a beautiful time to cramp. Oh the pain as I felt that ball form. I tried to stretch it but it just isn't as productive or as easy when you're in a belly boat. Flipper out of the water, trying to lean forward to grab it and all the time holding back nature's call. With one oar down the other leg acted only as a rudder and drift sock. The Ol' Number 2 didn't go anywhere either. If anything the urge increased ten fold. Jumpers were in the door waiting on a green light, the Seal team was prepped for lock out, the kids where screaming to go to the pool. Occasionally I would try to do some kicking but I could feel that cramp was just a slight thrust too much away. I didn't think I could stand another cramp. The first made my eyes swell I figured the next would bring a tear. As the shore got closer I swear I heard a voice pierce the wind yelling "30 seconds!". I was confused. The shore looked further away than 30 seconds. I closed my eyes and tried to relax. That's when the next wave hit, spray hit me in the face and the red light shorted green and a jumper started to go. The jump master grabbed him at the last second. Legs flapping in the wind with a whole eager squad pushing against him. It wasn't long before I considered sacrificing part of the soldier and re-locking the door. "10 seconds!". That voice again. It boomed over the sound of the water slapping my belly boat and wind around my ears. I looked around and I saw nobody within sight. I had to risk it, so I started kicking. I could hear the water hitting the shore. I thought I was saved when my right heel hit bottom. Here's where I made a my the ultimate mistake. I got exited, started kicking like I saw Jaws and that cramp reappeared. So there I was. My right leg was scrambling to find the bottom, my left fin in the air as I'm struggling to grab my left ankle, bobbing up and down in two foot waves, I swear my sphincter cramped and I pooped my pants. That was stupid.
    Nice fish! Do you have anymore pictures of it lying in the dirt?
    As publicity increases so does the propensity of tripping over yards of mono attached to a Dipsey sinker.

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