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fredaevans 07-30-2013 08:07 PM

Be careful out there .... ;>)

Irish Wedding
At the Irish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
"Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was almost crushed to death.

Condoms donít guarantee safe sex anymoreÖ..
A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the womanís husband.

Lance Armstrong
I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong,
especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, whilst on drugs.
When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frigín bike.

Drive By
A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didnít take my TV, just the remote.
Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick *******!!

The Agony of Aging
On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.
He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".

Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favourite 18 Holes".
Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.

siege 07-31-2013 11:51 PM

Re: Be careful out there .... ;>)
Fred, did you hear :
They give Viagra to the old men in the nursing home now. It keeps them from rolling off the bed in the middle of the night. :rolleyes:

You know what men get when they buy Viagra. Do you know what girls get who buy Viagra ? Expensive jewellery. :D

fredaevans 08-01-2013 01:59 AM

Re: Be careful out there .... ;>)
Here you. But I use an old Yellow Lab parked next to me for the 'don't roll out of bed.' His main demand is Dog Biskets (treats) a few times per day. Regardless of the time of day.

Actually have 'bruises' on both arms/hands from "Sandy" hammering on me. WAKE UP YOU SILLY OLD SHXT! :stretcher

Sitting at the 'Puter and a large fuzzy nose shoving ... :worthy: Been more than a few times where we're curled up on the floor and wake up a few hours later. Haven't shaved and FuzzFur for a second layer of 'beard'

Two huge brown eyes are a good thing, me thinks.


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