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Thread: Be careful out there .... ;>)

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    White City (tad north of Medford) Oar-E-Gone
    Posts
    10,670

    Default Be careful out there .... ;>)

    Quickies...


    Irish Wedding
    At the Irish wedding reception the D.J. yelled...
    "Would all married men please stand next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
    The bartender was almost crushed to death.


    SEX
    Condoms donít guarantee safe sex anymoreÖ..
    A friend of mine was wearing one when he was shot by the womanís husband.


    Lance Armstrong
    I think it is just terrible and disgusting how everyone has treated Lance Armstrong,
    especially after what he achieved, winning 7 Tour de France races, whilst on drugs.
    When I was on drugs, I couldn't even find my frigín bike.


    Drive By
    A guy broke into my apartment last week. He didnít take my TV, just the remote.
    Now he drives by and changes the channels. Sick *******!!


    The Agony of Aging
    On the morning that Daylight Savings Time ended I stopped in to visit my aging friend.
    He was busy covering his penis with black shoe polish.
    I said to him, "You better get your hearing checked - You're supposed to turn your clock back".


    SCAM
    Just got scammed out of $25. Bought Tiger Woods DVD entitled "My Favourite 18 Holes".
    Turns out it's about golf. Absolute waste of money! Pass this on so others don't get scammed.
    When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. - Billy Graham"

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  3. #2
    Join Date
    May 2013
    Location
    Southeast Idaho
    Posts
    6,387

    Default Re: Be careful out there .... ;>)

    Fred, did you hear :
    They give Viagra to the old men in the nursing home now. It keeps them from rolling off the bed in the middle of the night.

    You know what men get when they buy Viagra. Do you know what girls get who buy Viagra ? Expensive jewellery.
    " I'm just a cook " Casey Ryback, Under Siege

  4. #3
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    White City (tad north of Medford) Oar-E-Gone
    Posts
    10,670

    Default Re: Be careful out there .... ;>)

    Here you. But I use an old Yellow Lab parked next to me for the 'don't roll out of bed.' His main demand is Dog Biskets (treats) a few times per day. Regardless of the time of day.

    Actually have 'bruises' on both arms/hands from "Sandy" hammering on me. WAKE UP YOU SILLY OLD SHXT!

    Sitting at the 'Puter and a large fuzzy nose shoving ... Been more than a few times where we're curled up on the floor and wake up a few hours later. Haven't shaved and FuzzFur for a second layer of 'beard'

    Two huge brown eyes are a good thing, me thinks.

    fae
    When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; when character is lost, all is lost. - Billy Graham"

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